Bleeding the Turnip

I’ve talked about this before. The monies requested to learn all there is to writing. How to writer an eye popping query! Sign up here for 199.00. An Open Hour For Agent Queries here for only 299.00. What’s a synopsis? Learn how to describe your book in one page, for 350.00 The Blank Page. When you can’t start the story of your dreams? We’ll help you for a one time payment of 299.00. Point of View and Character Building Workshop – 499.00. And my favorite: Where has all my writing time gone? 20 Week Course 599.00.

And then, one day, before, during or after your educational bonanza, they say, “For a more in-depth interview with your character, I suggest you purchase Randall Rhubarb’s book, Gestures and Jocularity.  18.99 at Baker’s Books.  Do you see my point? Everything has a price tag. A price tag that, since I’m not a pro, is out of my price range.

There are conferences that are costing up into the thousands, workshops that can empty your wallet for almost the same amount. Travel, hotels, meals, etc. And I would love to do it all. But I can’t.

I’m married and every time I bring it up I have a husband that says it’s a scam. This whole writing thing is a great way for people to make money. They sell a couple of books and all of a sudden they’re Professor English.

I guess I’ll just have to unpack all my 40 year old English Class papers. Everything should be the same, right. I’m sure that nothings changed. Well, at least I’ll be saving a hell of a lot of money when I do.

Here’s to writing,